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Amondien

[Sato] Ketsuryū, Anshiya

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Name: Anshiya Ketsuryū

 

Age: 10

 

Gender: Male

 

Height: 4’5”

 

Weight: 79 lbs

 

Appearance: He is very pretty strong even though you can't notice it (he isn't that muscular), he is very slender. but has white hair that goes to his to the tip of he´s ears and a couple of inches above his head. His eyes are green has started going red, so he has some red spots in his eyes.

 

His clothing is a black robe with a green band that goes over his right shoulder that hold his sword, on his waist he has a black leather belt, were his pouch is on his back where he has his glass balls, skurikens, exploding tags, wire and bells. On his thigh he has his kunai holsteron his feet there are black ninja sandals.

 

 

v4osvb.jpg

 

 

Rank: Academy Student

 

Village: Sato

 

Language: Sati fluent- Barely noticeable accented Common

 

Main/Favored Weapon:

- 1’ stainless steel sword

 

Side Arms:

- Glass ball of Fuel x 5

- Kunai x 8

- Shuriken x 10

- Exploding tags x 5

- Wire x 6 m

- Bell x 6

 

Element: Katon (Fire)

 

Specializations:

- Chakra pool

 

Strengths:

- Stamina

- Chakra control

 

Jutsu:

Basics

-Kawarimi no Jutsu

-Henge no Jutsu

-Bunshin no Jutsu

 

E/D

- Katon: Moesashi [Flame Release: Embers]

- Katon: Osoi Hinawa [Fire Release: Slow Fuse]

 

Background: He has grown up in the typical family, with his father, he didn’t had any siblings so he only had him to play with, inasmuch his mother had fallen under a rare sickness, witch there were no cure, when he was 4 years old.

His dad was a retired ninja, he retired when he had his son so he didn’t had to die, during a mission, so now he was a lumberjack.

So he trained in the arts of ninjutsu and genutsu, because of that training he is pretty good with chakra control, and has a rather large chakra pool.

Inasmuch his dad was a worker in the woods and he had helped his dad in the woods his stamina is pretty good aswell.

 

Tough his father was a rather good ninjutsu user and he didn't want to learn about taijutsu he started looking into genjutsu and started practicing it by himself, and he practiced on squirrels and frogs. He knew that he wanted to be a shinobi sense hes had heard that his dad had been one, and he didn't want to be a lumber jack like his father. His father wasn't that happy that he wanted to be a shinobi, but he wasn't that satisfied to be a lumber jack, and his father had noticed that, so he sad that if he still wanted to be a shinobi when became 10 years old, he could go that way of a career. His father felt that he didn't want his only child die, but didn't had the heart to stop him from his dream to walk in his fathers footsteps.

 

Sample Post: As he was wandering out in the forest just wandering and thinking of what he wanted to do the rest of he day he suddenly felt that he was followed by someone but. But he didn't but that much in mind to it, but the felling just became stronger and stronger, so he then relied in hes speed, to run and hide so he ran to a cliff that he knew very well and hide i a cave that you had to pass through a really narrow tunnel to get in to.

 

On the way he used some wires and bells that he put in the roof of the tunnel to hear if he had been followed.

 

"Now I hope that I'm not followed but in case I am followed I played alot here when i was i kid (even tough I still am a kid) i even dug a tunnel so that i can escape but i will stay here for a while"

 

So he then fell asleep waking up on the noise of a bell sound, so then as quick that he could he climbed up the tunnel that he had made in the roof of the small cave, the entrance above him was very hard to find because, he had made the manage to make the exit, under a huge oak in the rot system. When he climbed up he decided to ran back home because it had become night.

Edited by Amondien
not good enough

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Pretty good job. You've got all the basic things down. The only things left are details, such as:

 

- Accents for your languages. You'll probably want it to look like this: Sati (Fluent); Common (accented) How thick the accent is -from thick to barely noticeable- is up to you. ^^

 

Your appearance seems lacking, even though you pretty much covered everything. Maybe you could let us know what kind of body type he has, please? Not all ten year olds share the same body type.

 

The following isn't necessarily a critique as it is just a suggestion that you can chose to ignore. Your background could use some beefing up. You don't have to tell us a whole lot, but two full paragraphs should do it. Give us some insight on some events that helped shape the boy into who he is today, like why did he become a shinobi? You mentioned that his father was one before he retired into lumberjacking. Did he want to follow in his footsteps? What did his parents think about his career choice? What was it like growing up as an only child?

 

All-in-all, you did a good job! Welcome to the game. ^^ I look forward to seeing you in Seichi.

Edited by Ivory Deluge

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Thank you, for the response well i now has change quiet bit in the background, and some small things in the appearance, so i hope it's okay now ^^

 

Well thank you i hope i it will be fun here ^^

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So far, so good. But the only thing that has me a bit worried here is your sample post.

 

I would take a look at this guide here for a better idea of how we RP here. Most of the world revolves around posts in the third person, much like you were reading and typing a story. :3

 

Post two of this thread.

I just want to make sure that you know what your going to be up against when you interact with others.

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I read everything front to back, not that there is any front or back, but it all looks good to me.

 

You may flesh it out if you want, but I think it is good enough to be stampable.

 

So here is my 1/3 Stamp. One more to go! 1/3 + 1/3 = 2/3!

 

Enjoy and welcome to The Ninja Forum.

 

If you have any questions, please don't be afraid to ask them either here or in a Private Message. :P

 

^_^

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