Welp, here I am announcing my imminent retirement.
A lot of you probably have a lot of questions. Like "why didn't you quit sooner?" and "who's gonna harass Akera now?" and "lick my feet plz?"
And a lot more of you have none, which is fine by me.
But to sum up my retirement in one fell swoop, I'll lay it out like this.
Everything about it sucks. This is not a fact that is up for debate.
The coding is atrocious, the style is an eyesore, the community is more often toxic as hell than when it isn't, the moderator community are all obviously biased and the gameplay is slow as hell.
I don't even know why I lasted this long in this train wreck of an RPG.
Oh, wait. Now I remember.
In every mountain of feces, there's always a few nuggets of gold.
I would like to thank the following people for their gracious contribution to the willing self-destruction of my life. ^ ^
Possibly the best former kage that ever former kage'd. You've been a joy to chat with and a great friend overall. Love ya', mate. < 3
The best current kage fo' shizzle.
Hope ya' can keep Shine on the path to glory, pal.
The very first senpai that ever noticed me. Just thinking about him makes my nipples tingle.
An actual sane person in a sea of morons. I'll miss ya' a lot for sure.
Bye CJ. Bad way to end our relationship, dude. I can get refusing to stop talking to someone who harassed me, but taking it to the extent where you actually sided against me was a dick move.
My best CFH buddy ever, which isn't saying much since we only CFH'd with eachother about 3 times and failed to kill our target most of the time. But when we failed, we failed together. Isn't that worth something? ^ ^
I'm pretty sure I hate you, Akum. But I love the PvP you give me, so I love you.
Farewell, you magnificent impolite term for a child of questionable conceivance. Maybe one day you can become a window in the Samui tavern, 'cause you're so transparent.
My best bro in whining. Keep fighting the good fight, yo.
Have my babies Solar.
The best grandma ever. I'll cherish the scars from her genin whip forever.
I dunno what even happened to this guy. But legends say he ascended the mortal plane of the internet to become the ultimate dank meme master.
Nate's basically your clone, so just see his description.
You are an awful example of an egocentric elitest uber, and damnit if I don't love 'ya for it. By which I mean, I tolerate you but pretend to love you because I want attention.
I'll just say what everyone else says.
(Insert a butt-kissing paragraph here)
Actually though, I wouldn't just kiss your ass, I would lick it.
And after I contract ebola from that, I would continue to write blessings of your name in my vomit. < 3
In all seriousness though, you've been a really excellent admin. I'd consider you the only decent staff member on here. Fly well, batcat.
Blessings to you. May your grammar never improve, good sir. ^ ^
Constantly made me sexually frustrated.
And that concludes all the people I actually knew well enough to care about. If I left anyone out, please write me a formal letter detailing exactly why you should be in the lineup and then eat it.
As for the rest of you, I'll sum you up by village.
You guys are sooooooooo booooooooooooooooooooring. I would rather pull out my eyeballs, fry them into an omelete and eat it with my butt while singing the care bears theme song than read a single convo of yours.
Y'all are so cute, I could munch you right up. < 3
Literally. Your village state is so small I could probably eat you in a single bite. But for what it's worth, I still wish you good luck in giting gud.
Congratulations on being the number one village through sheer size of playerbase.
That sure is a major accomplishment.
You all deserve a medal for amazing dedication.
You guys are probably the best village in the whole game. You've got a small playerbase, but you've got a lot of heart and dedication. And salt.
Lots and lots of salt.
If you never beat Samui, at least you can send them all into cardiac arrest with the amount of salt you spew.
I wish you good luck in the future and all kinds of sappy stuff.
Farewell. ^ ^/
And, as always, I've saved the best for last.
Alright guys, lemme level with you:
YOU might be the smallest faction in the game, YOU might not even have an active tavern, YOU might be home to a ton of ryo alts...
But you are still the best mother-fucking asskickers I've ever seen.
YOU are the toll of death for the rich and opulent, YOU are the shadows that drive to insanity even the most patient of players, YOU are the gosh-darn greatest fiddly-diddlers that ever diddled a fiddle and don't let anyone ever tell you differently, you hear me?
Keep being fucking amazing. Peace.
And that's all, folks.
...Will probably log in occasionally 'cause OCD.
P.S. Wonder how long it'll take before someone gets butthurt and reports this lol.
Edited by MOkami, 12 March 2016 - 11:20 PM.