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[AS] Takeido, Shun [Nagare]


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#1 Systematic

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Posted 07 February 2014 - 03:51 AM

Name: Takeido, Shun (駿 "fast" or 俊 "talented")

Nickname: N/A

Age: 9

Gender: Female

Height: 4'7"

Weight: 85lbs.

Appearance:
Spoiler

Shun, is a petite shinobi with not much hope for gaining to much more height. She has light blonde hair, and a slightly pale skin complexion. Both of her arms are wrapped in bandages down to the fingertips, but this is merely for aesthetic look rather than pragmaticism. Her piercing green eyes are filled with unspoken emotion almost constantly, and the only thing marring her innocent and pure face is a small scar above her right eyebrow that is almost unnoticeable unless one was looking for it. Her wardrobe is simple and consists of all plain white garments. Her shirt is a small and form-fitting which provides for complete and total freedom of movement, and she has white shorts on to match and provide mobility as well. Over her shirt she wears a black jacket with her name's kanji on the back in bright white markings. She keeps her long light blonde hair from her face with a few white clips here and there to pin it back while still looking absolutely adorable.

Personality: Shun is a very quiet, but oddly enough is not reserved. She merely saves her words for when she has to use them, and at times is often considered mute for her lack of communication through traditional sense. She has chosen to let her actions speak more loudly than her words. She is extremely kind, and would do anything to help her friends, so much so that she is a bit naive about it. Shun, like every little girl gets upset very easily. She can be moody at times, and often will ignore her friends if she thinks they have wronged her or someone else she cares about.

Rank: Academy Student

Village: Nagaregakure no Sato (Hidden Current Village)

Clan/Organization: N/A

Language: Common & Nagarian

Main/Favored Weapon: Wire Strings [50ft.]

Side Arms:
Kunai [2]
Shuriken [1]
Smoke Bomb [1]
Explosive Tags [2]
Element: Fuuton

Fighting Type: N/A

Fighting Style: Shun loves to fight and will gladly step up to a challenge when it's necessary. She's very calculating in battle, and will take hits and do more dodging and positioning before actually doing any real damage. When she does fight though, she usually has several steps ahead of her planned out. Her one main downfall in combat is her inability to kill. There is no part in her that is able to kill anything, from people to animals. She will incapacitate at most, and even do major damage, but she will avoid killing at all costs.

Specializations:
- Intelligence

Strengths:
- Speed
-Agility
Shortcomings:
-N/A

Weaknesses:
- Inability to kill

Jutsu:
[E] Bunshin no Jutsu [Clone Technique]
[E] Henge no Jutsu [Transformation Technique]
[E] Kawarimi no Jutsu [Body Switch Technique]
[D] Souharigane no Jutsu [Wire Manipulation Technique]
[D] Stop
Background:
Shun comes from a simple background of common folk. Her mother a clerk at a local garden shop, and her dad a simple sailor. She has enjoyed visions of grandeur ever since she was a child and her mother told her the old legends of the Horizon and its people. She always wanted to be just like them, and she set out to do just that. Her interest became her obsession from then on, always leaping off of things around the house and running around outside for hours trying to do the wonderful things that they did in the stories. She played with the children of course, and she got into many fights with the boys that picked on her for her obsession with the stories. She learned fairly quickly from her fights how to efficiently fend for herself against her bullies.
One day when Shun's father had carried a crate home from work full of wire that needed to be shipped the next day she stole some of it. She played with the wire she had stolen, tripping her parents up, and setting up traps in the rivers to catch fish as well. She saw the tactical advantage even at a young age that it possessed and began to torment her bullies at school with her newfound weapon. Her father loved her dearly, and so he helped her in whatever way he could. He showed her how to fight, and how to tie knots, even how to trap some wild game here and there, but most importantly he taught her to love. When she entered the academy she had made her own nindo, taken from what she understood from her dad.
"I believe in ordinary acts of bravery. In shouting for those who can only whisper, in defending those who aren't strong enough to defend themselves."

Sample Post:
Shun's body flickers onto the flat green hillside, her bright green eyes survey the flat landscape as she searches for the sound of the growl. Pulling out one of the shuriken, she spins it on her left index finger ready to flick it towards any impending threat. She continues to search the landscape for the source of the growl when she finally spots, not to far in the distance, a large tiger. With a solid and quick motion of her hand she flicks the shuriken off towards the tiger in the distance, hoping to stop it before it reaches the small little farmers cottage as she was so duly instructed.
Hopefully, I can wrap it up and figure out a way to drag the beast away... I'd rather not have to use myself as live bait.

Previous RPC Profile: N/A

Edited by Systematic, 07 February 2014 - 04:51 AM.




#2 Hironidin

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Posted 07 February 2014 - 04:10 AM

Welcome to the forum!

Your character looks great, I enjoyed reading it, but there were two things that need addressing.

First, your jutsu weren't selected from the official lists of techniques they need to be from. For example, shunshin is a C rank ninjutsu, something your average student would not be able to perform yet.

You'll also need to get acquainted with the academy basics if you haven't already. You can find a more detailed description of each in the ninjutsu list.

- All Ninja RPCs know the following jutsu and they DO NOT take jutsu slots:

  • Bunshin no Jutsu [Clone Technique]
  • Henge no Jutsu [Transformation Technique]
  • Kawarimi no Jutsu [Body Switch Technique]


[h=3]Complete NinJutsu List[/h]
[h=3]Complete TaiJutsu List[/h]
[h=3]Complete GenJutsu List[/h]
Secondly, I noticed you did not add Common to your repertoire of languages. It is fine to not know it, but as it is the universal language we primarily use, you'll find yourself having an overly difficult time communicating with people who don't know Nagarian and such. My suggestion would be to replace one of your languages with common.

#3 Blazestorm

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Posted 07 February 2014 - 04:19 AM

Hello! Welcome to TNF.

So my only problems really are the jutsu and your thoughts on what an Academy Student (AS) can do. Here at TNF, our shunshin is a C ranked jutsu as can be found here so unfortunately you will not be able to have it just yet. Furthermore, I was unable to find the Sōshuriken no Jutsu technique. If you had copied this from another forum, I'm afraid that you won't be able to use it.

Also, Academy Students are allowed to have three so called basic jutsu for free. Kawarimi, Bunshin, and Henge. These can also be found in the previous link. They are free basics, but we do require that they be listed. You are right however in that AS get 2 D ranked justu slots.

Lastly, I hope you know that a full grown tiger will be able to beat an AS and won't succumb to one little shuriken.

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#4 Systematic

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Posted 07 February 2014 - 04:40 AM

I apologize for Shunshin no Jutsu, everywhere else on the internet I've seen since my days rp'ing it's always been D-ranked so I assumed, my bad haha. As for the situation regarding the tiger and my abilities as an Academy Student, there were many directions I could have gone with the scene, but for the sake of a sample I hadn't planned on wasting time to go into elaborate detail on the various traps one could employ to simply relocate a tiger.
As for the manipulating shuriken technique, it's one of the basic ones from the anime that I've always used, but for arguments sake, I'll replace it, it's not that important anyway.

Edit:
Oh and the Kauhi, I read in the language section that it was the general one. So... that is the common one right?

Edited by Systematic, 07 February 2014 - 04:45 AM.


#5 Blazestorm

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Posted 07 February 2014 - 04:49 AM

><

Sorry, that's a misnomer. Kauhi isn't the language of the world. It's common. I'll go fix the wording on that (and pummel whoever it was that worded it that way). Sorry for the confusion.

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#6 Systematic

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Posted 07 February 2014 - 04:55 AM

Oh! Okay hehe, so is there anything else that I need to fix or am I all set now?

#7 Hironidin

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Posted 07 February 2014 - 04:58 AM

The complexities of beating up tigers aside, this looks fine as it is now.

#8 Blazestorm

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Posted 07 February 2014 - 05:02 AM

*Stamped*
~ Be sure to obey the RPG Rules
~Be sure to update the Population thread or your character won't be considered to exist!
~Be sure to RP your strengths and weaknesses accurately.
~If you have any further questions or comments, you can post them in the RPG Questions and Suggestions Forum


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