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View Full Version : [Ira Clan] Terra Saevio (Phase 2)


Avessar
29-06-2010, 00:51
Name: Terra Saevio

Clan: The Ira Clan.

Bloodline History:
Most people in the Ira clan are born with this bloodline, the first recorded user of this bloodline is first considered head of the Ira clan; Hisashi Ira. However, the bloodline has been present in history for a longer time than that. Ancient documents state that people have seen and encountered men in the Sun Country with skin tougher than the earth and temper as hot as the earth's core itself. Legends say that a man once found a scroll in a hidden chamber in the Sun Country. This scroll cursed and blessed the man at the same time, ever since the man found the scroll the bloodline has been present in history.

The only man who ever reached the final stage of the bloodline was Hisashi Ira of the Ira clan, he managed to focus his rage and control the bloodline to its maximum potential. The bloodline has been passed down in the Ira family ever since, family members have been trained to manage their rage and control their bloodline. Since the bloodline involves great mood changes the user becomes more vulnerable to mind attacks. Many shinobi of the Ira clan tend to have either very weak or very strong bodies since the bloodline takes it toll on it. Most bloodline users tend to get "stuck" at the third stage since the requirements for the final stage are very dangerous. You need to be a very strong shinobi to fill the requirements of the fourth and final stage. The bloodline was named by Hisashi Ira after mastering it, he was also the first shinobi to recognize it as a blessing rather than a curse. Hisashi Ira decided to name it "Terra Saevio", the Earthen Rage.

Description:
The Terra Saevio bloodline basically taps into the user's chakra and turns the dermis skin into a mineral. For this to occur, the user needs to suffer or experience a physiologic trigger such as anger or excitement. This technique is very demanding on the user's stamina, since the "new" body weighs much more and demands more muscle power to move. To make the muscles work properly while the user's body is enhanced, great amounts of epinephrine(C9H13NO3) needs to be released into the bloodstream. Since the first stage of the bloodline requires you to suffer or experience a physiologic trigger the user learns how to manage his/her rage and gains great defense in the end.

Basic stage:
Essentially the first stage (which means that everybody starts here) which applies on all further stages:

Description:
The user cuts his/her stamina while he/she suffers or experiences a physiologic trigger such as anger or excitement. Great amounts of epinephrine(C9H13NO3) are released into the bloodstream increasing heart rate, respiratory rate and muscle contraction.
Activation: The major physiologic triggers of this stage center upon stresses such as physical threat, excitement, noise, bright lights, and high ambient temperature. All of these stimuli are processed in the central nervous system. Though, being angered is a much greater physiologic trigger than all of the forementioned.

Strength: Enhanced body, increased heart rate and respiratory rate.
Weakness: Since this stage is mostly triggered by being angered, the user loses radical thinking and suffers a tunnel vision. The user is also weaker to genjutsu while in this state (+1 post). Since the user cannot control this, yet, the rage renders the body exhausted to the point of which it can barely move. This effect, however, is reduced when reaching the higher stages of the bloodline.

Stage 1 (Iron(Fe)):

Description:
The dermis skin(the second layer) is infused with chakra and is turned into not-so-dense iron mineral(Fe) increasing the body's weight, defense and endurance.
Note: This is the second layer of the skin, meaning the first layer is still normal therefore not showing any signs of change unless damaged.
Activation: The basic stage has to be triggered before activating stage 1. The user needs to have an affinity to the Doton(earth) element.

Requirements:
Rank: Genin
Must have used the basic stage at least 4 times before the body develops stage 1.
Needs to suffer many physical blows for the bloodline to react and develop this defense.

Strength: Weight, tougher defense(+1) and greater body endurace(+1).
Weakness: Body flexibility(-1) and speed(-1) is lowered. Weaknesses of the basic stage still applies.

Stage 2 (Pyrite(FeS2)):

Description:
The dermis skin(the second layer) is infused with chakra and is turned into pyrite(FeS2) increasing the body's weight, defense and endurance.
This mineral is stronger and harder than iron(Fe), therefore this stage is much tougher than the first.
Note: This is the second layer of the skin, meaning the first layer is still normal therefore not showing any signs of change unless damaged.
Activation: The basic stage needs to be triggered and the first stage needs to be mastered before developing this stage.

Requirements:
Rank: Genin
Must have used stage 1 at least 8 times before developing this stage.
Needs to be beat up good at least twice after reaching stage 1.

Strength: Weight, greater body endurance(+2) and even tougher defense(+2) than stage 1.
Weakness: Further reduces body flexibility(-2) and speed(-2). The weaknesses of the basic stage still applies.

Stage 3 (Topaz(Al2SiO4(F,OH)2)):

Description: The dermis skin(the second layer) is infused with chakra and is turned into topaz(Al2SiO4(F,OH)2) increasing the body's weight, defense and endurance. This mineral is stronger and even harder than pyrite(FeS2), therefore this stage is much tougher than the second.
In this stage you can control your rage to a certain degree, slightly reducing one's tunnel vision and enhancing radical thinking a little.
Note: This is the second layer of the skin, meaning the first layer is still normal therefore not showing any signs of change unless damaged.
Activation: The basic stage needs to be triggered and the second stage needs to be mastered before developing this stage.

Requirements:
Rank: Chuunin
Must have used stage 2 at least 12 times before developing this stage.
Requires an RPC age of at least 20; the body needs to be fully developed before reaching this stage.
The user must be exposed to great physical harm for his defense to evolve even more.

Strength: Weight, greater body endurance(+3) and even tougher defense(+3) than stage 2.
Weakness: Further reduces body flexibility(-3) and speed(-3). The weaknesses of the basic stage are lower in this stage; you won't get as exhausted after the effects wear off.

Final Stage (Diamond(C)):

Description: The dermis skin(the second layer) is infused with chakra and is turned into diamond(C) increasing the body's weight, defense and endurance. This is the strongest and hardest naturally occurring mineral, therefore this stage is the strongest stage one can achieve.
In this stage you can control your rage even further, allowing you to focus even though you're angered. The tunnel vision is still present but has a reduced effect.
Since you can control your rage in this stage you also regain the ability to think rationally again.
Note: This is the second layer of the skin, meaning the first layer is still normal therefore not showing any signs of change unless damaged.
Activation: The basic stage needs to be triggered and the third stage needs to be mastered before developing this stage.

Requirements:
Rank: Jounin
Must have used stage 3 at least 14 times before developing this stage.
Needs to be exposed to high temperatues (i.e. fighting and getting hit by a strong katon jutsu).
Needs to be exposed to air pressure (i.e. fighting and getting hit by a strong fuuton jutsu).
Needs to learn how to control their rage through two weeks (14 days) of training.

Strength: Weight, excellent body endurance(+4) and extremely tough defense(+4). The weaknesses of the basic stage has almost disappeared completely; the state of exhaustion is nearly non-existent.
Weakness: Body flexibility(-4) and speed(-4) is even worse than in stage 3.

Notes:

Each time the user turns the skin into mineral an amount of chakra equal to their rank is used (C for genin, A for jounin etc.)
Every time the basic stage is activated a chakra amount equal to their rank -1 is used (D for genin, B for jounin etc.)

Nekomata Kayangelus
01-07-2010, 02:57
Bloodline History: + Description:

Overuse of the enter-key much? Unless you are starting a new paragraph, don't press enter. If you are starting a new one, use enter twice.

To keep up with the user's "new" body, the user needs much greater muscle power, the user therefore uses an amount of chakra depending on rank to enhance the user's muscles.

Your body uses stamina, not chakra to reinforce muscles.

To make the muscles work properly in this stage, great amounts of epinephrine(C9H13NO3) needs to be released in the body. This power comes at a great cost; your bones will not be able to keep up with the boost in strength and the user will most likely suffer bone breakage, great exhaustion and severe muscle damage.

Yeah, no. You aren't getting anywhere near that big of a physical boost, so you might as well remove this.

Basic stage:

Demi's point wasn't phrased in clearly, so I will retry. Your concept was accepted, but not the emphasis on the gate related ability. You need some insane strength to at all harm your own bones. Strength that you are not getting from a bloodline. Especially not in the first stage. Basically, your best bet is to scrap this entire stage and go from there.

Strength: Weight, strength, tougher defense and greater body endurace (i.e. can take more blows without being hurt).

First off, scrap the strength increase (see above on why)

Next, what is the difference between the tougher defense and the increased endurance?

Thirdly, an indication of the magnitude of increase is needed.

Body flexibility and speed is lowered.

By how much is the question.

Stage 2/Stage 3:

Basically same thing as stage 1. Since a lot of it is dependent on stage 1, which isn't happening.

This is the strongest and hardest existing mineral

Put "naturally occurring" between "existing" and "mineral".

Final Stage:

See "Stage 2/Stage 3"

The weaknesses of the basic stage has almost disappeared completely; your bones are completely protected from damage and the state of exhaustion is nearly non-existent.

Not a weakness

Avessar
01-07-2010, 22:42
Bloodline History: + Description:

Overuse of the enter-key much? Unless you are starting a new paragraph, don't press enter. If you are starting a new one, use enter twice.

Thanks.
Done.

Basic stage:

Demi's point wasn't phrased in clearly, so I will retry. Your concept was accepted, but not the emphasis on the gate related ability. You need some insane strength to at all harm your own bones. Strength that you are not getting from a bloodline. Especially not in the first stage. Basically, your best bet is to scrap this entire stage and go from there.

Basic stage: edited.

Strength: Weight, strength, tougher defense and greater body endurace (i.e. can take more blows without being hurt).

First off, scrap the strength increase (see above on why)

Next, what is the difference between the tougher defense and the increased endurance?

Thirdly, an indication of the magnitude of increase is needed.

Strength increase scrapped.
Endurance: "The act, quality, or power of withstanding hardship or stress".
Defense: "resistance against attack; protection" or "something that defends, as a fortification, physical or mental quality, or medication". They both sort of entwine.
Magnitude is added.

Body flexibility and speed is lowered.

By how much is the question.

Numbers added.

Put "naturally occurring" between "existing" and "mineral".

I weren't going to drag in nanocrystalline forms of diamond in this.
But yes, you're right. Added.

Not a weakness

Moved to strengths.