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kajowwojak
25-12-2008, 23:58
Weapon Name: Fear

Weapon Type: Puppet

Weight: the puppet, with all of its gadgets and such weighs a total of 250 pounds

Appearance: The puppet can best be described as a demon. The puppet stands at a solid 6' 6" inches (Note: there are six letters in "inches", you figure it out), but has the body that is rather human. The arms have a rows of spikes placed six inches apart, going on top of, below, and on either side of the arms, all the way down, except for under the lower forearm, where a piece of metal sticks out all the way to the wrist (About a foot behind the wrist is where the metal is connected to the arm, and there is about one inch between the metal and its arm), the best way to destribe this piece of metal is a long jitte with a sharpened tip. Sticking out of the top side of the wrists are three pronged Nekode Claws. The arms are capable of detatching at the wrist, behind the Nekode claws, and fly out strait, chains connecting it to its body.

When the hands are launched from the wrists, they can not be controlled directly, but the arms can be waved around to make them swing like whips, able to be controlled more easily thanks to the four joints in the arm. When launched, all of the chains, stored within its chest, are thrust out of the body, weather the arms go that distance or not. The retraction of the hands takes a while(Three posts), but the medium thickness chains can still be waved around. The retraction process can be stopped giving it a shorter chain, but must wait one (1) full post before resuming retraction again. As a failsafe, if the hands ever get stuck to anything, or the retraction process would wind up tipping the puppet, the chains can be compleately detatched from within the puppet, and just use the long spiked arms as clubs. The chains launch a total of 30 feet and the speed of the launch is about that of 16 miles per hour (Note: that is 1.6 times faster than the average human can run. the average human can not run at 10mph). The waist of this puppet has the ability to spin around and around and circles, however, if it has its arms out, this will cause them to spin like a hurricane.

The face is that of a demon. It had horns that curled evilly, black gleaming eyes, and sharp pointed teeth. The entirety of this puppet is made of iron, making it impossibly heavy, and all but grounding it. Its thick legs are spring loaded, allowing it to move somewhat, but it is still impossibly slow. The puppet is painted with a water tight pain that gives it some added insintive to its name. The entire thing is black, excluding its poisoned spikes and weapons, and it also has random red slashes that were meant to give the illusion of a demon that would not fall in fight. In truth he was not able to get that look across, but the red slash marks are still there for asthetics. THe face is the only difference to this, and is painted to look like a beast from hell. It is brown and shaded black around the eyes, with sharp pointed teeth painted white.

Weapons: Spiked arms, Jitte under lower forearm. Spikes are about 1 inch from arm, and are one inch at base on arm (Meaning its not like needles, it is an inch wide, then tapers to a point) Jitte length: about 1 foot long, start point, and goes only to the wrist, only about an inch and a half between arm and Jitte.
Nedoke like claws on wrists. three claws, each 8 inches long
Detachable hands connected with chains. Chain length: 30 feet
Spinning motor on waist that can cause the whole upperbody to spin in circles.

Specialties: Brutal offence.

Strengths:

Excellent Strength
Excellent durability

weaknesses

Horrible Speed (By academy student standards)
Horrible accuracy (Ranged)


Note: I could not find a puppet template, so I improvised on the custom weapon's template. There will be poisons, but only when my poisons get accepted

Sunatou
28-12-2008, 22:05
You have a gross excess of weapons. Remove three of them, and then it seems more acceptable. I suggest completly removing the spikes, daggers, and senbon.

I also would like you to remove defense and balance because it is a genin level puppet and shouldn't have tons of str/wkn. You can also remove the note by speed, as that would be implied.

kajowwojak
29-12-2008, 17:14
Alright, I removed what you suggested, however I kept the spikes on the arms because if it does happen to lose its hands, it has no other weapon. There aren't any spikes on the rest of the body though.

If that is still unacceptable, I will see what I can do.

And I fixed my weakness/strengths, however, unless I am reading what you wrote wrong, You read what I wrote wrong. What I meant in that note was that compared to an AS's puppet, it is horribly slow. It just didn't seem right to write "Horribly Horrible Speed" but if that is how you write it, I will :)

Sunatou
29-12-2008, 18:55
Much better now. I have no problems with this.

If you ever need a puppet guide you can find my own here (http://www.theninja-forum.com/Vbulletin/showthread.php?t=16741)

kajowwojak
29-12-2008, 19:01
Thanks for the link! And thanks for looking at Fear!

Raphael
04-01-2009, 06:55
can you add a section labeled "Weapons/Devices" or something so your weapons can be found without reading the appearance?

Also, as sunatou said, instead of listing offensive power, you should just list all of your weapons and that will be left implied.

kajowwojak
04-01-2009, 17:24
Ok, added the weapons and changed the strengths.

Raphael
04-01-2009, 17:28
How long are the chains? The spikes and the nekode claws?

Other than lengths for those, this looks fine to me, though I only kinda glanced at the application. Sorry if I am being a bother.

kajowwojak
04-01-2009, 17:37
Nope, not being a bother, it is neccissary.

kajowwojak
11-01-2009, 23:08
Been inactive for about a week now, any more comments?

Raphael
22-01-2009, 00:56
is your horrible accuracy for the puppet overall accuracy, or only ranged accuracy?

kajowwojak
22-01-2009, 22:42
I meant ranged accuracy. Thanks for pointing that out, I added that in there. If you see something else, even if it is just nit-picking, go ahead and mention it.

Sunatou
23-01-2009, 17:48
I see no immediate problems with this profile.

Please speak now or hold your peace.

Aoshi
23-01-2009, 18:30
Not to start giving people ideas, but I'm curious...

The entirety of this puppet is made of iron, making it impossibly heavy, and all but grounding it.

Iron tends to rust pretty badly... and generally requires some form of relatively active corrosion control...

Is an Academy Student with a water gun going to be capable of taking this thing out? xD...

If he becomes completely rusted over (or a portion of him), how long would it take for you to perform the maintenance necessary to get it moving again?...

Of course...

[free advice]You can also just paint it >.>;...[/free advice]

kajowwojak
24-01-2009, 02:44
Yeah, but on that note, does Iron rust in the entirety of five minutes or so? Anyways, I think I will paint him. I think I will give him a better reason to be called Fear...

Edit: Added that he is painted.

Aoshi
24-01-2009, 12:11
It's not necessarily that I think the whole thing will rust up after one attack...

However, say some one were to continually pinpoint a certain area during the course of a fight, like the shoulder joint, with water and/or an acidic poison... eventually, your arm would just fall off xD...

Rust can occur in a natural environment in a day. In an "unnatural" environment full of sweat, blood, and possibly water/poison attacks, it would occur much more quickly...

But yeah... paint would make it much less likely... and you could (and probably should) just always keep a can of oil or something, to RP having to clean / oil it xD...

Also, he has horrible speed by AS standards, and weighs 250 pounds... How do you intend to get him anywhere outside of a fight? xD...

His speed alone should drop your total traveling speed down dramatically... Even if you're riding him xD...

kajowwojak
24-01-2009, 14:45
Ah, already solved that. StarLabs has a Charm Bracelet device that lets you store tools and things in the charms. Ken has one (With the permission of Raph), and his puppets are stored in those, since they weigh virtually nothing as a charm.

Aoshi
24-01-2009, 18:20
Alright, then...

I hereby
http://i419.photobucket.com/albums/pp273/raphael2010/Aoshi1.png

And thanks, Raphael, for the Stamp! xD...