Nagsong , Ryhan

[nagsong]

Name: Nagsong , Ryhan

Age: 12
Gender: Male
Height:145cm
Weight: 47 kg

Appearance:
Short black hair, brown eyes, wearing a brown jacket and green pants



Level/Rank: Academy Student.

Village: Konoki

Language: Common, Konoi
Main/Favoured Weapon: wooden stick (150 cm lenght, 1,2kg weight )

Side Arms:Iron wires(5m), Healing ointments (3 tubes)
Element: Wood.

Fighting Type: Ninjutsu.

Fighting Style: Mostly far distance fighter, prefers to stay hidden, never gives his guard down.

Physical Strengths:
Agility
Speed
Over average sight
Brilliant accuracy

Mental Strengths:
High inteligence
Logical thinking
Very good memory
Goes for his goals

Physical Weaknesses:
Bad taijutsu user
Insufficient strength
Alergic against cats
Weak defense in very close combat

Mental Weaknesses:
Very stubborn
Very lazy
Most of the time unconcentrated
Quite reserved

Jutsus:

Bunshin no Jutsu [Clone Technique]
Kawarimi no Jutsu
Henge no Jutsu [Transformation Technique]
Utsusemi no Jutsu [Projection Technique]


[B]Background: Nagsong lives with his parents in a small cottage in the nearby forest .He choose to became a ninja although his father a carpenter ( he left the life of a shinoby behind) was not satisfied with the decision his son made .Also his mother an former forest priestess .They worried about their his son a lot because they knew that the way of a shinoby is full of danger and pain. To protect Nagsong his father made for him a special carved wooden stick which should protect him and mother some special nature ointments.

Sample Post: On the way to academy was Nagsong excited he was full of awaitings what it will be like.
As he opened he become a little bit nervous because of all the students in the class. He seeked a seat in the corner of the room. With the time passing he became bored and unconcentrated and asleep. The teacher
woke him u pand gave him a big piece of his mind. After that Nagsong tried to stay awake until the school ended.

[Senshi_Kodo]

Age: 12
Height:180 cm
Weight: 75 kg

A twelve years old AS taller than my 16 years old Genin. Now that's a miracle. NVM my sarcasm. I think a 12 years should be limited to about 150 cm. In which case your maximum normal weight would 55 kg, just don't make him overweight or you might have a turtle instead of a ninja, unless all the mass is actually muscle. Up to you.

Advise: Bold or change the color of sections like name, age, etc. Better for the eye.

Main/Favoured Weapon: wooden stick (made of an iron tree)

You said it's a wooden stick then you say it's made from an iron tree! Moreover, how can a tree be iron?

Check the common tools' list (http://www.theninja-forum.com/Vbulletin/showpost.php?p=158071&postcount=3). You might find out that wires and ointement aren't enough for you. Plus, you need to specify the wire's length and the quantity of the ointement, tube-count-wise.

Physical Strengths:
Agility
Speed

High/Good/Above Average agility? Same for speed.

Physical Weaknesses:
Bad taijutsu user
Insufficient strength
Weak physical attacks
Weak defense in very close combat

These 4 are actually the same thing. See Tai experience is distinguished through Strength, Speed, Stamina and Endurance as well as Agility. (That's all I think) You have two of these in strength, why say his a bad Tai user. He doesn't use Tai anyway. Insuffcient strength = Weak physical attacks. Replace one of them.

I always advise to check Kyuu's guide (http://www.theninja-forum.com/Vbulletin/showthread.php?t=11540) thoroughly.

On the jutsus' level, you get to train and acquire Nawanuke at Genin for free and not waste a slot for it. My advice, unless you really think Nawanuke will be helpful through academy period, is for you to drop for something else or better keep the slot free for more Genin jutsu when you rank up.

[Tybre]

Gender: Male
Height:180 cm
Weight: 75 kg

Two things:

First, you need to include the conversions to feet and pounds for those unfamiliar with metric and too lazy to look it up.

Secondly, you are a good twelve or so lbs overweight. Perfectly fine if you want him to be overweight, just letting you know.

Appearance:

I trust you will add this soon enough.


Main/Favoured Weapon: wooden stick (made of an iron tree)

Wooden stick of an iron tree? That makes no sense. I can find nothing on a type of tree called an "iron tree" other than fake trees made of iron that are designed to look like wood, but in that case it would be an iron pole designed to look like a wooden stick.

Also, we're going to need more detail. Such as appearance, weight, length, etc.

Side Arms: Wires, Different ointments

How many of each? How long are the wires? What do the ointments do?


Physical Weaknesses:
Bad taijutsu user
Weak physical attacks

These are pretty much the same.

Background: Nagsong lives with his parents in a small cottage in the nearby forest .He choose to became a ninja although his father a carpenter ( he left the life of a shinoby behind) was not satisfied with the decision his son made .Also his mother an former forest priestess .They worried about their his son a lot because they knew that the way of a shinoby is full of danger and pain. To protect Nagsong his father made for him a special carved wooden stick which should protect him and mother some special nature ointments.

First and foremost, this is going to need to be a tick longer. Secondly, if you can, please try to fix the grammar.

Sample Post: On the way to academy was Nagsong excited he was full of awaitings what it will be like.
As he opened he become a little bit nervous because of all the students in the class. He seeked a seat in the corner of the room. With the time passing he became bored and unconcentrated and asleep. The teacher
woke him u pand gave him a big piece of his mind. After that Nagsong tried to stay awake until the school ended.

Pretty much the same critiques apply here as what was said about the background.

[jameshawking]

Height:145cm
Weight: 47 kg x__x -flails at the metric system- tis acceptable, but uncommonly used.

Appearance:
Short black hair, brown eyes, wearing a brown jacket and green pantsPut more effort into this. Like, skin color, hair style, disfigurements, face, proportion, etc.

Main/Favoured Weapon: wooden stick (150 cm lenght, 1,2kg weight )So it's just a wooden stick? Nothing else special about it at all? As in, a tree branch?

Fighting Type: Ninjutsu. Specialist, right? In that case, expect to make a bunch of Mokuton custom jutsu, as the list is quite small.

Fighting StyleMy advice to you would be to just remove this optional subsection from your application. All it does is just tell your opponent how you fight.

Physical Strengths:
Agility
Speed
Over average sight
Brilliant accuracywhat is "brilliant accuracy"
And define "over average sight" please.

Agility and speed similarly need modifiers (very good, excellent, good, above average, etc.)

And I want to make sure you know the difference between speed and agility. Speed is, well, speed, but agility is the fluidity and rate of movement. A fast person can run a mile in 5 minutes. An agile person is a master dancer. See?

Physical Weaknesses:
Bad taijutsu user
Insufficient strength
Alergic against cats
Weak defense in very close combatInsufficient for what? I'd rather you change this to "poor" or "very bad" or "bad"
I'll safely label this as fake <_< Replace it with something, please.
As dictated by your first weakness about Taijutsu. Find another weakness.

Mental Weaknesses:
Very stubborn
Very lazy
Most of the time unconcentrated
Quite reservedNot only do these go hand-in-hand, they both also disagree with your strength of "goes after his goals". Also, I don't believe I'll see you actually role-playing as someone very uncommitted and lazy. I'd really rather you just replace these with something else.